i shall probably never stop adoring josh groban.

his voice spun the chocolate soundtrack for last night’s drive to the cathedral. in some ways, i’m still the same as the twelve-year-old who raptly cleaned the kitchen while “let me fall” wafted from the CD player. or as the nineteen-year-old who squealed with joy over her first christmas present from nick — the “live at the greek” CD and DVD. but in other ways, not so much. for one thing, i’ve been driving to the cathedral every tuesday night since the beginning of september to attend their Rite of Christian Initiation and Acceptance (RCIA) classes. exploring Catholicism is something i stubbornly refused to even consider for the last few years, and it’s still something that makes me a little nervous. most of my initial qualms were settled when i realized they were based on vast misunderstandings about Catholic doctrine and practice. then there are the remaining “goads” i can’t stop kicking against (and maybe they bother me for good reason): the veneration of Mary (it truly isn’t worship, but … she was born without original sin? really?), the doctrine of purgatory, and the admonition to “work out your salvation with fear and trembling” understood to imply “…because you could lose it if you don’t”, rather than “…but it was guaranteed at the moment of your repentance”.

and there are things i love. like the emphasis on Scripture and the careful way the lectionary has been planned out, so that not only do each day’s old testament, gospel, and new testament readings complement each other, but also if you attend mass every Sunday, you will hear the entire Bible in three years. and the warm sense of communion and hope drawn from the saints. i used to think of saints like two-dimensional haloed figures in a fresco. now i think of them like family members or dear friends who have passed away, but whose presence you still feel, sometimes in a very tangible way. like i still feel mrs. aasen’s encouragement whenever i’m stressed. and the fact that the Septuagint includes the 7 Old Testament books known as the Apocrypha to Protestants. i always thought the Catholic church randomly added on those books at various points in history, and actually they weren’t officially canonized until 1545, but they were part of the Sacred Scriptures to which Jesus and the apostles refer. when the Jews revised their own canon around AD 100, they cut out certain books that seemed to favor Christianity over Judaism. and when Martin Luther developed his doctrines, he endorsed the Jewish canon because he thought the Apocrypha was unbiblical. (he had reservations about James, Jude, and Revelation, too, but did include them at the end of his version of the New Testament.) and i love the sign of the cross. it used to feel somehow wrong to me, like some kind of horrible papist voodoo. i almost imagined that a particularly fierce Inquisitor invented it in between torturing heretics. how ridiculous is that? of course it does bother me when people do it irreverently or without thinking about it. but now i’ve realized that it’s a beautiful way to call the Trinity to mind… both a mental and physical prayer to the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

so the first time i ever listened to josh groban, i had no idea what my twenty-third year would bring. didn’t imagine that i’d be traveling across the state with two other girls to compete in the jeopardy-style Challenge Bowl at the annual conference of the Pennyslvania Society of PAs. (we didn’t win, but we put up a great fight.) didn’t imagine that i’d be diving headlong into the treasure trove of early church fathers’ writings. didn’t imagine that in november i’d move to johnstown for my general surgery rotation and live with a horde of medical students and interns. (let’s hope it’s not quite like grey’s anatomy.) didn’t imagine that our little house on trenton ave. would be bursting with songs and movies and plays because i’d be living with two actors and dancers and one architecture grad student studying theater design. didn’t imagine that nick and i would be celebrating four years of inside jokes, old poetry, spirited theological debates, and a love that’s both invigorating and deeply calming.  

in the next decade, i bet at least twenty-seven other things will happen that i don’t in the least expect. but josh groban will still hold a special spot in my heart… i’m sure of it.